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About Traditional Art / Hobbyist Member SilverNekoBakaFemale/United States Groups :iconpein-fc: Pein-FC
Achieving peace through pain
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Deviant for 2 Years
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:bulletpurple: I do not work for MONEY. These are POINT comissions only.
:bulletpink: I have a personal life outside DA. Be aware of that and respect that it might take me a while to get to your comission.
:bulletblue: Payment comes first.
:bulletblack: I take comissions for only writing.
:bulletorange: If something comes up that I need to halt comissions for, keep an eye on my journal because it'll be posted there.
:bulletyellow: I do NOT take any comissions ofr yaoi or yuri. I have nothing against people who like the same gender in real life, if that's going to come up as a topic, but it drives me up the wall when people write gay pairings for characters that I personally don't see as being gay.

So let's get this thing started!

Short fanfic one-shot- 3:iconpointsplz:

Ex: 100 Themes 2 (+ Commish)100 Themes 2: At the Amusement Park
Modern Hyrule wasn't the first place she wanted to be. In fact, on a list of places she'd like to be at the moment, the park was somewhere holding on for dear life at the very bottom, if it even held a place on the list at all. For another Zelda fan, this park would probably be the best thing since sliced bread. However, for Ruby this place held too many memories. Some that were too outstanding to allow to escape her as well as some that she would really prefer to forget.
This was the place that had brought the gang closer together, the place that had brought Lya into the group permanently, and the place where their adventure had begun. Yes, the remarkable adventure, which was neither something the mage could forget, nor ever wished to.
However, to relate such a place of lighthearted pleasure as an amusement park with her current less than chipper emotional state, it was also the place where she had first met him. It wasn't as if they had talk

Long fanfic one-shot- 5:iconpointsplz:

Ex: Diary of an Insane CanadianFor TheTurtwig66
I hope you like this TheTurtwig66!
Warnings: Violence, Character Death, Snapped!Character

Dear Diary,
Al was out almost all day today. When he finally came back in he was wet and dirty and he had something in his hands. Dad had a fit, of course but Al didn't seem to care. I didn't really care either. After all, dad's always like that. I was more interested in what he had in his hands that dad's complaining so I went over to get a better look. He opened his hands a bit to let me see what was in them and it turned out that he had caught a frog. I don't know how my big brother does that, frogs are much too fast and slippery for me to hold onto but he catches them all the time. Tomorrow, he said he could take me frog hunting with him and teach me how to hold onto them! I don't think I'll be able to learn it better than him 'cause Al's so cool and he's bigger and smarter and he can teach me things all the time. I'll sure try though, even though big brother'

Short multi chapter fanfic (1-3 chapters)- 10 :iconpointsplz:
:bulletred: SilverNekoBaka does NOT take comissions to write yaoi or yuri.
:bulletblack: Description of characters for fandoms I don't know about will need to be provided through note. I'll note you if I don't know your fandom.

Reader inserts follow the same prices as fanfiction. Below you can find a list of fandoms that I can write for.

Bleach, Fullmetal Alchemist, Pandora Hearts, Inuyasha, Rorouni Kenshin, Legend of Zelda, Samurai Deeper Kyo, Tales of the Abyss, Kuni no Alice, Tokyo Mew Mew, Pokémon, Yu-gi-oh (5Ds and Original), Batman, The Avengers, Harry Potter, Howl's Moving Castle, Spirited Away, D Gray Man, Hetalia, Once Upon a Time, Sleepy Hollow, Hatoful Boyfriend, the original Warriors series, most Marvel and DC movies, Percy Jackson/The Kane Chronicles, Naruto

If you'd like to request anything outside these fandoms, my access to anime and other shows that aren't aired through my local TV station is limited, even through the internet. However, if there's one you can't live without, I'll make a note to look into it.


Short original story one-shot- 4 :iconpointsplz:


100 Themes 21100 Themes
“It Hurts...”

Liam felt himself tense as he awoke. There was another presence beside him, one that certainly hadn't been there when he'd turned in for the night. The professor briefly toyed with the idea of summoning his spear, should anything unfriendly surface. However, he quickly disregarded it. In all logic, if whoever or whatever it was had intended to hurt him, they would have done so long ago. He would have been an easy target while he was sleeping peacefully and unaware of what was going on around him.
Curiously, the man shifted the blankets away from his company. He had hardly been expecting to see her here. Last he'd checked, she'd been over turning about restlessly in her own bed. Sighing to himself, he allowed the covers to settle back over the younger mage.
“Ruby?” he asked, giving her a small prod.
The girl blinked her eyes sleepily and glanced at him. “What time is it?” she asked tiredly.
“It's three thir

Long original story one-shot- 6 :iconpointsplz:

Short multi chapter story with a cast of original characters (1-3 chapters)- 15 :iconpointsplz:
:bulletblue: More is charged for original plotlines and characters because people's originals take me a lot longer to write.
:bulletgreen: A note containing a basic outline of anything I'll need to know and descriptions of characters in the story will be needed.

Current Commission Status:

:iconharuka28: Progress Bar Blank by deenji

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People, I really have to ask you how HOW HOW in the name of GOD did Divergent get such a huge fanbase?! I'm serious! WHY does anybody read this god awful piece of I-don't-even-know-what!? Is it because it's bad? Are they all just secretly getting a kick out of the comedy resulting from how bad it is? Frankly, this was one of the few things I've ever seen that is SO BAD, I could not find any humor in the badness! It was just painful!

Okay, so here we have Tris. The describing in front of the mirror trick is old and tired, but I will admit that it wasn't SO bad simply because she makes the audience wonder why there's only one mirror in the house and why nobody uses it often.

Complements stop there.

I'm going to be very blunt here. This is some of the laziest writing I've ever seen. This is some of the laziest characterization I've ever seen. This is some of the laziest goddamn world building that I have ever seen.

How does this damn world not collapse as soon as this shitty system was thought out? This is not a realistic world. This is not even a SEMI-realistic world! This is a cardboard world, populated by cardboard characters.

Alright, now that we're harping on the world, let's talk about some factions! Let's talk about Abnegation!

Abnegation. The selfless. The leaders of the country. Every leader in the country is Abnegation. EVERY LEADER IN THE COUNTRY IS ABNEGATION! I'm sorry, but when has it EVER been a good idea to put ONE party in control of an ENTIRE government!? Did she study politics? Does she know what shit goes down in the government when the balances are tipped in one party's favor? You get hell raining down on members of other parties. You get hell raining down IN the capitol! You get bribes! You get scandals! 

I just know someone's going to come up here and say "you obviously didn't read the book! Abnegation is selfless!" I read the book. I definitely read the book! That's why I'm pulling my hair out right now!

A selfless government sounds good, right? Yes it does. I'm going to tell you right now that this is where cardboard characters come into play.  People do not act like this. People have a variety of traits and emotional responses unique to their person. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE A GODDAMN DIVERGENT, YOU JUST HAVE TO BE A GODDAMN HUMAN! They're robots. That's it. I'm seriously convinced that they're all robots. 

Abnegation wants to benefit everyone else. I can just picture them up there like this" "Abnegation faction, we're going to do something nice for all of you because we want to benefit all of you nice people too!" "No, no! We don't need anything! Just do something nice for someone else!" "No, but we insist. You're always trying to help others! All you individuals deserve something once in a while! We're giving! Come on!" "No! We DON'T need anything!" "LET US GIVE YOU A PRESENT, DAMMIT!"

That's basically how it's gonna play out. It seems like they'd want to benefit their faction as well, but do we ever see any evidence of this? And why are we arguing with Erudite? You're selfless! Shouldn't you just give in? Selfish! Why are there no members of the other factions at least SUGGESTING shit on a board or whatever? HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY WANT DAMMIT? DO THEY JUST LIKE, GO UP TO A GOVERNMENT BUILDING AND SAY "YO! I WANT THIS!"? WHAT DO YOU DO IF THERE'S AN ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT? JUST "OH, HE WAS HARMING YOU? WELL, THAT'S ALRIGHT THEN! WHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPY!"? AND WHY DOES EVERYBODY JUST TRUST THAT ABNEGATION ISN'T SECRETLY CONTROLLING ALL OF THEM THROUGH APPEARING TO BE SELFLESS?

Come to think of it, that would have been a much better twist that mind control.

And how does this damn economy even work? We don't see any evidence of things being sold or bought or anything! How do these transactions take place? DO STORES EVEN EXIST? HOW DO YOU SUPPORT THIS VERY FLAT AND UNBELIEVABLE GOVERNMENT OF YOURS? Of course given these people's flat personalities, I imagine it like this:

Dauntless spends everything all willy nilly and then goes broke, ends up a bum within the faction, and dies from jumping out of a plane without a parachute.

Erudite hoards it all and whenever they buy something, they do calculations down to the cent of how much this will impact those freakishly huge savings. Then they turn into the annoying customers that try to haggle with the person selling it even if its at a fixed price due to the nonexistent economy. If the seller is Amenity, they agree because "daaaaaw! ish so nice!".

Abnegation gives everything away to the poor and other factions. Then they go broke and the entire faction dies out because they starve to death.

Amenity gives everything away as well and then they gradually die out for the same reason.

Candor? I think they might be the only ones who have a slim chance...

Now let's talk about Dauntless. They are not brave. I think the author doesn't know the difference between brave and dumb. Jumping out of a moving train for a rush is dumb. Jumping out of a moving train because there's a guy behind you with a gun and you're trying to jump to safety with someone dear to you on a chance that you can get them out of danger, but you're STILL AFRAID, that is brave!

Can we please talk about the fact that most of these people in Dauntless dress and act more like rebellious high schoolers than brave, mature adults? In fact, most of them are not tough, they're just flat out bullies. Including Tris. Yes, they added in the bigger, meaner bullies to make her look small and like the victim, but guess what? IT DOESN'T WORK! She's always saying that she wants to be selfless like her family. What does she do when she and Molly are in the rooms and she has a chance to BE selfless and to BE the bigger person?

She kicks her while she's down.

Also, most of the things that take place within Dauntless are random, stupid stunts that don't connect to the plot in any way! "Gee, I don't have anything else to write about! Let's zip-line from a skyscraper!" "Let's climb a ferris wheel so that we can have a romantic moment between two cardboard cutouts with no chemistry!"

Candor and Amenity aren't even IMPORTANT TO THE PLOT! Why!? Why are there FIVE factions when only THREE are important? 

And I'll point out the same thing with Candor as I did with Abnegation. They control the court system because they're honest. WHY DOES EVERYBODY JUST TRUST THAT THEY'RE GOING TO BE HONEST? HOW DO THEY KNOW THAT THEY AREN'T SECRETLY MANIPULATING THEM ALL AND DOING AWAY WITH ANYONE THEY DON'T CARE FOR?

Once again, this would've been a much better twist than mind control.

Now, let's talk about Erudite. Hell, this book could've been so much more interesting and believable if it was done from their perspective. I'm going to be honest here, I WANTED the Erudite to win! Do you know why? BECAUSE IF THEY'RE THE MOST INTELLIGENT PEOPLE IN YOUR SHITTY SOCIETY, THEY CAN OBVIOUSLY SEE ALL THE GODDAMN FLAWS IN THE LOGIC OF IT THAT I'VE POINTED OUT! How about this for a story? How about "This government is bullshit! Why does everybody go along with it? WAKE UP CALL TIME!"? 

Smart people are not portrayed well in this book. Which I find odd because a first glance at Erudite territory reveals people-- I'm sorry, cutouts, more likable than the friggin jackasses in Dauntless!

So, you have all these intelligent people around, and you don't have ONE in the government? Why? Because intelligence corrupts selfless purity? That's the vibe I'm getting.

Just remember to pass that message along to your children, folks! "If you want to jump out of a speeding train, I support you, darling! But if I catch you with a friggin book, I will disown your evil ass."

Also, let me point out that intelligence is NOT technically a personality trait. It depends on the mind, not the emotions. Now you can SHOW intelligence in your reactions. You can SHOW intelligence as you display your personality traits. 

Veronica Roth, you have officially failed. 

Are you really telling me that there isn't one smart person in any other faction? I don't know how they even battle the Erudite then. That's like cavemen raging war on Star Fleet Command.

In all this, it might seem like I actually LIKE the Erudite. I do like smart characters. However, I do not like the Erudite. I simply prefer these cut outs to the other cut outs I've been presented with. Remember, kids! A piece of cardboard decorated with glitter-glue is still made of cardboard!

We never find out much about them. No more than any of these other stupid groups in this unrealistic society. If I asked you to describe an Erudite, what would you say?

Smart and evil?

Nailed it.

Alright, all that and I realized that we haven't actually talked about our lovely main characters yet.

Like I said, Tris is a hypocrite. She's always pissing and moaning about how much she wants to be selfless, and then NEVER does anything in a situation where she could show that she's selfless! Same for intelligence. How did she even get Abnegation and Erudite on her test? SHE'S A FRIGGIN' DAUNTLESS CUT OUT ALL THE WAY!

Before the fangirls tear me apart for daring to insult her, let me point this out. One of my personal favorite things to point out. She looks down the barrel of a gun to see how many bullets are in it! SHE LOOKS DOWN THE BARREL OF A GUN TO SEE HOW MANY BULLETS ARE IN IT! SHE LOOKS DOWN THE BARREL OF A GODDAMN LOADED GUN TO SEE HOW MANY FCKING BULLETS ARE IN IT!

That is like THE FIRST thing they tell you when you're learning about guns! DO NOT SEE IF A GUN IS LOADED BY LOOKING DOWN THE BARREL! Also, was this a riffle? Was this a revolver? Because it's never specified. Apparently all guns in this world are just "gun". I point this out because there is absolutely no way to see how many bullets are in a gun other than those specified above. If you want to see how many bullets are in just about anything else, you have to take the magazine out and examine it! YOU DID NOT DO RESEARCH AND YOU MADE THIS GIRL SO INCREDIBLY STUPID, I CAN'T EVEN--!

Also, may I point out that she mentions that she's not happy with her appearance on the first few pages. Then it's never mentioned again until someone points it out. Thus giving her a reason to be pissed about something that she never thinks about throughout the course of the entire book except when it's explicitly mentioned to her.

Now we have four. Lifeless, predictable boy who apparently had arm muscles that are so drop-dead sexy, Tris just can't stop staring at them.

No personality. No, sorry, asshole. Until you get to the simulation scene and then he goes all "poor baby" so you can feel bad for him. 

That whole Tobias thing, I had it figured out way before the big revel. 

That is all I have to say because this character pisses me off so much, I don't even want to talk about him.

Also, MIND CONTROL! THAT HAD LIKE, NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING EVER! I swear to god! It was almost like she was just sitting there and suddenly went "I need an exciting conclusion... How about mind control?". Then we get Tris getting her Rambo on and mowing down her friends, only to get over it seconds later and make herself even more of a bitch than she already was! 

I think there's something wrong when my favorite character (cut-out) is dead, and my reaction is literally "Oh. That sucks.".

Lesson learned, SilverNekoBaka really hates Divergent.
  • Mood: Joy



Artist | Hobbyist | Traditional Art
United States
A spastic writer with an absurd caffeine addiction.

"This is how you do it: You sit down and the keyboard and put one word after another until it's done. It's that easy, and that hard." --Neil Gaiman

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Piezelle Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2014  Hobbyist
sup sup sup
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babygurlpolly Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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     Party :iconblue-bplz: :iconblue-iplz: :iconblue-rplz: :iconblue-tplz: :iconblue-hplz: :iconblue-dplz: :iconblue-aplz: :iconblue-yplz: Party
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Otomezaki Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2014  Student General Artist
:iconarpkplz: Happy Birthday!!!! :iconarpkplz:
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Haruka28 Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy Birthday~! Best wishes~! :iconsnugplz:
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MarchingSIN Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
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